It’s Not Fathers’ Day (But You’re Still the Dad) (Pt. 4)

Part 4: Teaching Moments

God assigned the primary role of leadership and discipline in the home to fathers. Of course, mothers are not excluded; they are just not given the primary responsibility. God’s expectation is for parents to teach their children about God and to train them according to God’s word.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

--Ephesians 6:4

The purpose of all instruction and discipline is to instill useful principles in the minds and hearts of our children for good living. More specifically, our goal as parents should be to instill within our children a sense of reverence for God for a lifetime of devotion to Him in preparation for Christ’s return.

What can a Christian parent do to carry out this instruction??

While some families may choose to have periodic organized times for devotional or Bible study, we must all take advantage of the daily opportunities that arise. The following are just a few examples of unforced, natural teaching moments.

When fixing the car, you may have an opportunity to mention federal and state regulations which you may not like, but that you follow because you honor the laws of the land as Scripture teaches.

When teaching your daughter how to manage her finances you might take the opportunity to say something about God’s blessings and the value of honoring Him in a weekly contribution or by financially assisting someone in need. Instill the value of generosity, an attribute of God.

In the evening while on a fishing outing you might pause to enjoy the sunset and draw attention to the majesty of God’s creation.

After hosting friends for an evening in your home you might say something about how God values fellowship and hospitality.

After an exhaustive, yet ultimately successful search for an important lost item, you might be able to impress upon the heart of your child God undying love and compassion for lost souls. Consider also what might be taught when that valuable item is never found!

When your children observe poor behavior in other children, you might be able to teach something about the value of discipline.

When finances are tight and you cannot participate in a desired activity, you might teach something about financial responsibility or contentment.

After experiencing disappointment, you might teach something about the nature of our broken world and the enduring hope of everlasting life with God.

After having applied effective discipline, you have an opportunity to reinforce your love for your child, in spite of the wrong that was done. You may also be able to teach about God’s mercy and forgiveness.

If we intend to discipline and instruct our children in the Lord, we must have the instruction of God in our heart. So, we must be people who use God’s word to govern our lives. In addition, we must be constantly aware of teaching opportunities. Then, when those situations arise, we must take advantage of the opportunity for the benefit of our children.

And finally, if we are to discipline and instruct our children in the Lord, we must ensure that the things being taught are already being demonstrated in our own lives. Our lives as parents should punctuate and reinforce our instruction.

Mark Stinnett

May 25, 2025

It’s Not Fathers’ Day (But You’re Still the Dad) (Pt. 3)

Part 3: Spiritual Leader

God assigned the primary role of leadership and discipline to fathers. Consider the context in which this role is defined:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

--Ephesians 6:4

The simple phrase ‘in the Lord’ places the responsibility of fathers in the context of spiritual leadership. The desired result of leadership in the home is not to produce model citizens or people with great careers (both good things), but to please God. ‘In the Lord’ could be thought of as ‘according to the Lord.’ A father’s leadership should be according to God’s expectations. So also, his instruction and discipline should be according to God’s expectations. This is carried out by devoting oneself to the principles taught in God’s word.

A father is not a dictator who controls his children so he can create an illusion of spirituality. He truly leads his children to Christ. A father’s instruction is first from God with the purpose of training his children to be like God in their personal character and in their values. Discipline has the ultimate goal of directing attitudes and behaviors toward God.

It is great to teach our children how to fix the car, fish and hunt, manage money, repair the house, cook, entertain guests, negotiate business deals, distinguish the big dipper from the little dipper, write an essay, grow vegetables, play a sport, grill chicken, unclog the sink, remove melted crayon from the back seat of the car, invest money wisely, manage electronic devices, plant a tree, keep a pet, and find the best deal on an online auction.

But what about their souls??

The discipline and instruction of the Lord is spiritual instruction including faith, humility, godly character, service, devotion to God and concern for one’s fellow man. The discipline and instruction of the Lord is applied to all areas of life but should focus on preparation for the Lord’s return.

The discipline and instruction of the Lord is rooted in God’s word. That does not mean that a dad must organize formal Bible training times with his children, have them memorize and recite scriptures, or quiz them on Bible facts. Some fathers might choose these kinds of activities, however, we can learn something from God’s plan for instruction for ancient Israel.

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.

--Deuteronomy 6:5-7

I knew a dad who took his son into the back yard before a fishing trip and spent time teaching him how to use a new rod and reel. Another dad heard a peculiar noise from the engine of a passing car and shared some valuable auto info with his son. One opportunity was more formal and planned while the other presented itself quite by chance. In both cases knowledge and experience were shared as valuable instruction to be passed on. Spiritual instruction is no different.

Fathers, how well do you know God and His word? Based on your experiences what can you teach your children about God’s way of handling life’s trials, keeping oneself pure, the value of eternal life? How are you preparing your children for the Lord’s return??

Mark Stinnett

May 18, 2025

It's Not Fathers' Day (But You're Still the Dad) (Pt. 1)

Part 1: Head of the Home

The husband is expected to be the ‘head of the home.’ This responsibility goes back to the Garden of Eden and has been echoed in the New Testament. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:22). Of special interest to fathers are the following verses:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

--Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart. 

--Colossians 3:21

To provoke someone to anger is to be the cause of the anger. You have done something or said something or you have NOT done or said something that causes another person to become angry.

The word exasperate is the idea of making someone so exhausted through your actions or speech that they simply want to give up and get away. Exasperation affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Both scriptures are written in a negative tone, more like a prohibition: Don’t do this! So, what are some specific things that should be avoided?

Paul does not enumerate, yet by applying the Golden Rule you might ask, “What kinds of things would provoke me to anger or exasperate me?” The following is a general list that might help you get started.

A father can exasperate his children…

• When he does not listen.
• When he disciplines in uncontrolled anger, more of a reaction.
• When he is often unreasonable: “No questions; just do it. Follow my orders!”
• When he is often overbearing: Children are often bullied and/or treated more like slaves than family members.
• When he is often insensitive: Communication by yelling. Harsh words. “Just deal with it.” “Get over it!”
• When he is often critical: “You never do anything right.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You can’t do that, what a foolish idea.”
• When he is generally unyielding: “Rule #1: Father knows best. If there are any questions, refer to Rule #1.”
• When he administers consequences that do not fit the offense, yet he does not acknowledge the error or apologize.
• When he intentionally teases to the point of embarrassment (especially in public).
• When he is in the wrong, but refuse to acknowledge and apologize.

‘Head of the home’ is not synonymous with dictator or overlord. Head implies leadership. As the leader of the home God expects fathers to govern with a keen mind that considers each individual in the family. A good father understands differences in personalities, abilities, and even personal interests. He welcomes input from his wife and from his children. He is also careful to admit to his own failures and shortcomings.

Father’s Day is a day on which fathers are honored. 

For self-evaluation: Do you lead every day in such a way that you are deserving of honor?


Mark Stinnett

May 4, 2025