It's Not Fathers' Day (But You're Still the Dad) (Pt. 1)

Part 1: Head of the Home

The husband is expected to be the ‘head of the home.’ This responsibility goes back to the Garden of Eden and has been echoed in the New Testament. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:22). Of special interest to fathers are the following verses:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

--Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart. 

--Colossians 3:21

To provoke someone to anger is to be the cause of the anger. You have done something or said something or you have NOT done or said something that causes another person to become angry.

The word exasperate is the idea of making someone so exhausted through your actions or speech that they simply want to give up and get away. Exasperation affects one physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Both scriptures are written in a negative tone, more like a prohibition: Don’t do this! So, what are some specific things that should be avoided?

Paul does not enumerate, yet by applying the Golden Rule you might ask, “What kinds of things would provoke me to anger or exasperate me?” The following is a general list that might help you get started.

A father can exasperate his children…

• When he does not listen.
• When he disciplines in uncontrolled anger, more of a reaction.
• When he is often unreasonable: “No questions; just do it. Follow my orders!”
• When he is often overbearing: Children are often bullied and/or treated more like slaves than family members.
• When he is often insensitive: Communication by yelling. Harsh words. “Just deal with it.” “Get over it!”
• When he is often critical: “You never do anything right.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You can’t do that, what a foolish idea.”
• When he is generally unyielding: “Rule #1: Father knows best. If there are any questions, refer to Rule #1.”
• When he administers consequences that do not fit the offense, yet he does not acknowledge the error or apologize.
• When he intentionally teases to the point of embarrassment (especially in public).
• When he is in the wrong, but refuse to acknowledge and apologize.

‘Head of the home’ is not synonymous with dictator or overlord. Head implies leadership. As the leader of the home God expects fathers to govern with a keen mind that considers each individual in the family. A good father understands differences in personalities, abilities, and even personal interests. He welcomes input from his wife and from his children. He is also careful to admit to his own failures and shortcomings.

Father’s Day is a day on which fathers are honored. 

For self-evaluation: Do you lead every day in such a way that you are deserving of honor?


Mark Stinnett

May 4, 2025