It’s Not Fathers’ Day (But You’re Still the Dad) (Pt. 3)

Part 3: Spiritual Leader

God assigned the primary role of leadership and discipline to fathers. Consider the context in which this role is defined:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

--Ephesians 6:4

The simple phrase ‘in the Lord’ places the responsibility of fathers in the context of spiritual leadership. The desired result of leadership in the home is not to produce model citizens or people with great careers (both good things), but to please God. ‘In the Lord’ could be thought of as ‘according to the Lord.’ A father’s leadership should be according to God’s expectations. So also, his instruction and discipline should be according to God’s expectations. This is carried out by devoting oneself to the principles taught in God’s word.

A father is not a dictator who controls his children so he can create an illusion of spirituality. He truly leads his children to Christ. A father’s instruction is first from God with the purpose of training his children to be like God in their personal character and in their values. Discipline has the ultimate goal of directing attitudes and behaviors toward God.

It is great to teach our children how to fix the car, fish and hunt, manage money, repair the house, cook, entertain guests, negotiate business deals, distinguish the big dipper from the little dipper, write an essay, grow vegetables, play a sport, grill chicken, unclog the sink, remove melted crayon from the back seat of the car, invest money wisely, manage electronic devices, plant a tree, keep a pet, and find the best deal on an online auction.

But what about their souls??

The discipline and instruction of the Lord is spiritual instruction including faith, humility, godly character, service, devotion to God and concern for one’s fellow man. The discipline and instruction of the Lord is applied to all areas of life but should focus on preparation for the Lord’s return.

The discipline and instruction of the Lord is rooted in God’s word. That does not mean that a dad must organize formal Bible training times with his children, have them memorize and recite scriptures, or quiz them on Bible facts. Some fathers might choose these kinds of activities, however, we can learn something from God’s plan for instruction for ancient Israel.

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.

--Deuteronomy 6:5-7

I knew a dad who took his son into the back yard before a fishing trip and spent time teaching him how to use a new rod and reel. Another dad heard a peculiar noise from the engine of a passing car and shared some valuable auto info with his son. One opportunity was more formal and planned while the other presented itself quite by chance. In both cases knowledge and experience were shared as valuable instruction to be passed on. Spiritual instruction is no different.

Fathers, how well do you know God and His word? Based on your experiences what can you teach your children about God’s way of handling life’s trials, keeping oneself pure, the value of eternal life? How are you preparing your children for the Lord’s return??

Mark Stinnett

May 18, 2025