Why Should I Discipline My Child?

Because of the instruction I read in the Bible, I am quite confident that the controversy over child discipline did not begin in the 20th century. Nevertheless, questions remain, and far too many parents replace God’s instruction with past experiences as a child, things learned in college, compelling opinions of family, friends and the Internet, and personal opinion.

At its simplest form, discipline is instruction. However, depending on the importance of the instruction and the willingness of the child to learn, instruction might take on other forms.

• Sometimes instruction includes hands-on training in which a child is shown how to do something and then tries to do it.
• When instruction fails, yet a child is being cooperative, correction may be necessary.
• When instruction and simple correction are unsuccessful, a child might need a verbal reprimand or rebuke. This is stronger correction by drawing attention to the child’s mistake or poor attitude. A wise parent will follow rebuke with positive encouragement.

It is wonderful when a child learns with simple verbal instruction, correction and, if necessary, rebuke. However, that is not always the case, as every parent knows. When verbal discipline fails, discipline must be elevated to some kind of physical discipline.

Physical discipline is any form of discipline that changes a child’s physical circumstances. Two broad categories might be considered

1. The removal of privileges or expected benefits, such as:

• Removal of toys;
• No dessert after a meal;
• Reduced phone usage;
• Severely restricted curfew;
• Not attending a social function/event;
• Removal of bedroom door (privacy);
• Restrictions on driving;
• Stop allowance for a specified time.

2. Adding responsibilities or unwanted discomfort, such as:

• Smack the back of the child’s hand;
• Add chores for a specified time;
• Assign a sibling’s responsibilities temporarily;
• Change bedroom arrangement;
• Walk to school (if sensible).

Only a lack of creativity limits physical discipline. And yes, spanking belongs in this category. Spanking, though controversial, is effective when administered properly. A parent must never spank in anger, must only spank as a form of discipline, not punishment, and must provide gentle and loving instruction afterward.

All of these disciplinary forms are rooted in biblical instruction. In the book of Proverbs discipline is stressed in the Hebrew word musar. It included instruction, correction, rebuke, and physical discipline.

The purpose of musar was never that of justice. Rather, musar (discipline) was administered so that a child would walk in the way of God. The purpose of discipline is to keep a child from going his own way, the way of destruction. Discipline is meant to save a child’s soul.

Consider:

He will die for lack of instruction (musar), And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray. 

—Proverbs 5:23

He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines (musar) him diligently. 

—Proverbs 13:24

Why should you discipline your child?

Because you love your child.

Mark Stinnett

February 5, 2023