Discipline with Integrity

I don’t know how well it will work, but I know that it’s right. (I am thinking about discipline as it applies to children in the home.)

My leading statement might not instill great confidence. However, there is a reason for making the statement: Kids make choices. By that, I mean that even perfect parenting will yield varied results. You might remember what God said to one of his prophets: “You shall speak all these words to them, but they will not listen to you; and you shall call to them, but they will not answer you.” (Jeremiah 7:27) Like the people of God at the time of Jeremiah, children do not always listen, even when parents do everything right. Like all humans, children make choices and their independence grows with age.

Parenting is not hopeless, however. There are principles of discipline that should be followed. But first, what is discipline? 

In the Bible, discipline starts with simple instruction. It also includes training by modeling and by hands-on attempts by the child. Discipline also includes verbal correction, rebuke and physical consequences that may range from removing privileges, applying unwanted circumstances, and yes, even spanking. So, discipline is a very broad category.

There are a few principles that apply to all types of discipline in all kinds of circumstances:

• Make no idle threats. Never threaten a consequence that you cannot carry out or that you know you will not carry out. When you lie to your children about discipline, your children will also learn to lie.
• If you agree to something, do it. If you do not keep your word, children learn that it is ok to say things and not really mean what they say. That is simply a lengthy way of describing a lie. Children see through lies.
• If it is morally right in the Bible, then it should be right in your home. Model what is right and demand it in your children.
• If it is morally wrong in the Bible, then it should be wrong in your home. Among other things, the Bible teaches that children are expected to honor and obey their parents, and tell the truth. Parents who do not discipline a child for lying, disobedience and/or dishonor have placed themselves above God. Children will see that their parents do not regard God’s word highly.

The way parents discipline their children will reflect their view of God and His word.

Discipline has two primary goals:

• First, discipline is the means by which a parent keeps a child on the path of righteousness. Much can be learned from the book of Proverbs where discipline is a prominent theme. Ultimately, righteousness leads the child to the cross of Christ where he/she is then encouraged to follow Jesus.
• Second, discipline in the home trains a child to be self-disciplined. A child who has learned self-discipline is far more likely to be happy, creative, successful, and well-adjusted as an adult. A complete lack of discipline promotes instinctive behavior like that found in wild animals.

People differ in their viewpoint of child discipline and how it is to be applied. However, Integrity in discipline is about following God’s instruction in spite of everyone else’s opinions.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, 

but he who hates correction is stupid.

—Proverbs 12:1 (NIV)

Mark Stinnett

January 19, 2025