No Stupid Children

I would not advise it, but you could try it. The next time your child pushes aside your instruction or rejects your discipline, you could say that they are ‘stupid.’ Again, I would not advise it, but you could, because Solomon wrote,

   Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
   But he who hates reproof is stupid.
   --Proverbs 12:1

We often think of ‘hate’ as a reference to a seething and despicable attitude against something. We should understand that the term ‘rejection,' though seemingly mild, also fits as a synonym. Anyone who ‘rejects’ reproof (verbal correction) is stupid.

The Hebrew word behind the term ‘discipline’ includes all aspects of instruction, including: verbal instruction, demonstration, correction, re-teaching and rebuke. This same Hebrew word also includes all forms of discipline including corporal punishment. Generally, when administered, discipline is not pleasant, but it is for the good of the child. Parents, instruction and discipline are expressions of love for your child.

Instruction and discipline have the goal of instilling godly principles, proper attitudes and good behavior. Parents must instruct and discipline in such a way that their child can recognize the benefit of following instruction and accepting discipline. Harsh words do not make for good instruction. Impulsive discipline will not teach beneficial lessons. Homespun ideas that have little relevance or no basis in reality will teach a child to stop listening.

Instruction and discipline are imperative, yet children need to be trained that instruction and discipline are good for them. They need to be taught the value of loving and desiring instruction and discipline.

To do this parents must ‘tell’ their children the benefits of instruction and discipline in relation to identifiable, real-life, practical examples. In other words, after having given instruction and/or discipline, a parent should be on the lookout for a teachable moment that will illuminate the benefit of previous instruction/discipline. That moment may not be immediate; perhaps days will pass. But watch for that teachable moment.

Do not make the teachable moment an ‘I told you so’ moment. Rather, when the teachable moment arrives, point back to the instruction/discipline and explain the connection. Help them to appreciate the benefit that resulted. (You can sometimes see teachable moments in the behavior of other children.)

Over time you will find there to be less need for discipline and more times when simple instruction is all that is needed...

And your child will not be stupid.