God has assigned the primary role of leadership and discipline in the home to fathers. The last few blogs have focused on the text of Ephesians 6:4. Prior to that instruction (verses 1-3), the Apostle Paul addressed children:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother...that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
Many years ago, when my children were small, it occurred to me that this instruction could not possibly be directed at very young children; they cannot read! I reasoned that as parents, my wife and I had the initial responsibility to teach our children to “honor your father and mother.”
How do you teach honor??
It is likely that you have been touched by stories or news clips in which honor was shown to someone in our military. It might have been a crowd of people gathering to celebrate a soldier returning home from duty. It might have been the moment when the solemn silence at a funeral of a fallen hero is broken by the eruption of the 21-gun salute and the mournful call of the bugle playing Taps. Or perhaps you have witnessed a small child standing at attention to salute a soldier in uniform. Honor.
A father instructs his son regarding our nation’s flag. He teaches the meaning of the stars and the stripes. He remembers aloud those who have sacrificed so much for the freedom it symbolizes.
A mother tells her children about their two grandfathers who served in the military. She displays pictures of the men in uniform as she relates stories which had been told her. She shows her children the folded flags displayed on the mantle to honor the service of each man.
A schoolteacher teaches, not merely the words, but the meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance.
There are many ways to illustrate honor for our country and those in uniform. The common element in all of these is value. Honor is given to people and things that we greatly value. Our value is evident by the way we speak and how we show respect. We draw special attention to the things and people we value. We commit ourselves in loyalty and service to the objects of our honor. We protest and even punish dishonor of any kind.
Dads, value your wife and demand that your children cherish and value their mother. Moms, value your husband and demand that your children value and respect their father.
Value godly character in your home. Tell your children: This is how we act. This is how we speak. This is what we say. This is who we are. Then, be sure to demonstrate those same godly values.
Are you loyal to God? Do you value His word? Do you honor His people? Do you value spiritual ideals? Demonstrate these in your own life and expect these in your children.
One of the most important ways to teach honor is to teach obedience. Disobedience is nothing other than dishonor. Yet, obedience honors parents and honors God. A wise parent will discipline disobedience and dishonor.
Finally, when your children honor you, even if you do not feel deserving, accept the honor. In doing so, you allow them to fulfill God’s instruction to honor father and mother. Honor is good. Honor is right. Model and teach honor!
June 1, 2025
