The Cost of Forgiveness

Perhaps it was your spouse or one of your children; perhaps a coworker or boss; perhaps a fellow believer…
When was the last time you sincerely and humbly asked, “Will you forgive ME?”
Whenever you asked for forgiveness, what did you expect? Did you expect to be forgiven?
When? Did you expect forgiveness now? Later today? Tomorrow? Sometime in the future?
The last time you asked someone to forgive you, were you forgiven?

Forgiveness is costly to the one that you asked to forgive you!

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Asking, “will you forgive me,” is not the same as, “Pardon me.” (Sometimes, “pardon me” has become more of a trite “excuse me” when you do something socially unacceptable. *Burp* — “Pardon me….”)

A governing official, like a president or king, may offer a pardon. That simply means that the one who is guilty does not have to bear the consequences for his crime/offense. The official decides to suspend justice. When a person is pardoned, justice is not served.

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Forgiveness is also about justice. Pardon and forgiveness may look similar to the one who is guilty. In either case, he is freed from his debt. However, forgiveness is far different from pardon when it comes to the one who has been hurt by the crime/offense. When a crime is committed (or any offense or sin), an injustice has been done. Someone else bears the pain of the injustice. It might be a minor injustice with minimal consequences, but it is still an injustice.

Pardon suspends justice, while forgiveness deals with justice in a kind of opposite way. Forgiveness is a gift that the injured person gives to the one committing the injustice. The person who is injured willingly shoulders the pain of the injury and allows the offender to go free.

Justice demands an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Forgiveness is one’s choice to bear the pain of the injury saying, “You hurt my eye, but I will suspend justice and endure the injury without demanding that you be injured in your eye. You do not have to pay what you deserve.”

And yet forgiveness is even more than suspending justice and enduring the injury. Forgiveness is about relationship. Forgiveness reaches out saying, “I value our relationship more than I value justice for me. For that reason, I’ll not demand payment for the injustice. In fact, I’ll bear the cost myself.”

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Perhaps it was your spouse or one of your children; perhaps a coworker or boss; perhaps a fellow believer…
When was the last time someone asked you, “Will YOU forgive me?”
How did you feel when YOU were asked to forgive another person?
Would justice be served? Would it be fair to YOU?
Were you able to forgive, truly forgive?
What would your forgiveness require of YOU?
What would your forgiveness cost YOU??

The last time someone asked YOU to forgive them...are they still your friend?


Mark Stinnett

October 13, 2024

Second Things First

To some extent, our society loves the second great command of Jesus.

There is a tremendous push in our society for tolerance. In one sense, that is admirable. We need to be tolerant of the preferences of others, the opinions of others, the weaknesses of others, and so on. Tolerance seems to embrace the idea of love.

And yet, tolerance in our society isn’t what it seems. All too often, tolerance is more accurately: “You need to be tolerant of me.”

When tolerance becomes “You, tolerate me,” then I am embracing me, not love. That is what happens when you put second things first.

When the second great command is placed ahead of the first…

• Man is glorified.
• Man is central.
• Man becomes like...man.
• Man is the motivation.

However, when we keep first things first, the first and greatest command is given priority:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. 

—Mark 12:30

When we put first things first…

• God is glorified.
• God is central.
• Man becomes like...God!
• God is the motivation for all that we do.

Do you remember the teaching of Jesus…?

Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 

—Matthew 5:41

This teaching, from the Sermon on the Mount, acknowledged that a Roman soldier could force a person to carry his load for a mile. Naturally, that was distasteful to a Jew. The Jewish teachers taught that a disciple of the law should not be pressed into service by the king’s soldiers. Jesus, however, taught people to have a different frame of mind. Voluntarily go another mile.

Now, thinking of that teaching, how absurd would it be for a person to volunteer to a Roman soldier, “Hey, I’d be happy to carry your things a second mile.” That kind of thinking is laughable. A person cannot possibly go the second mile until after going the first.

In a similar way, how absurd is it to think that there is benefit in following the second great command without first observing the first great command? In fact, it is impossible to truly love your neighbor as yourself if God is not first in your life.

“For God so loved the world…” is not about how much God loved, but about the way in which God loved. God’s love is sacrificial; He gave His only begotten Son.

When a person loves God first, they embrace that same kind of sacrificial love and extend it outward to others. Tolerance then becomes exactly what it sounds like, “I will be tolerant of you by sacrificing for your good.”

Tolerance must never sacrifice the holiness and purity of God. Tolerance must never embrace sin. God’s tolerance does not embrace every thought and every lifestyle because not every thought and lifestyle glorifies God.

God loved sacrificially, but He did not cease to be God. We are to love our neighbor, but not without first devoting ourselves to God in love.

Keep first things first! Then, and only then, will the second have relevance.

Mark Stinnett

October 6, 2024