The Cost of Forgiveness

Perhaps it was your spouse or one of your children; perhaps a coworker or boss; perhaps a fellow believer…
When was the last time you sincerely and humbly asked, “Will you forgive ME?”
Whenever you asked for forgiveness, what did you expect? Did you expect to be forgiven?
When? Did you expect forgiveness now? Later today? Tomorrow? Sometime in the future?
The last time you asked someone to forgive you, were you forgiven?

Forgiveness is costly to the one that you asked to forgive you!

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Asking, “will you forgive me,” is not the same as, “Pardon me.” (Sometimes, “pardon me” has become more of a trite “excuse me” when you do something socially unacceptable. *Burp* — “Pardon me….”)

A governing official, like a president or king, may offer a pardon. That simply means that the one who is guilty does not have to bear the consequences for his crime/offense. The official decides to suspend justice. When a person is pardoned, justice is not served.

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Forgiveness is also about justice. Pardon and forgiveness may look similar to the one who is guilty. In either case, he is freed from his debt. However, forgiveness is far different from pardon when it comes to the one who has been hurt by the crime/offense. When a crime is committed (or any offense or sin), an injustice has been done. Someone else bears the pain of the injustice. It might be a minor injustice with minimal consequences, but it is still an injustice.

Pardon suspends justice, while forgiveness deals with justice in a kind of opposite way. Forgiveness is a gift that the injured person gives to the one committing the injustice. The person who is injured willingly shoulders the pain of the injury and allows the offender to go free.

Justice demands an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Forgiveness is one’s choice to bear the pain of the injury saying, “You hurt my eye, but I will suspend justice and endure the injury without demanding that you be injured in your eye. You do not have to pay what you deserve.”

And yet forgiveness is even more than suspending justice and enduring the injury. Forgiveness is about relationship. Forgiveness reaches out saying, “I value our relationship more than I value justice for me. For that reason, I’ll not demand payment for the injustice. In fact, I’ll bear the cost myself.”

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Perhaps it was your spouse or one of your children; perhaps a coworker or boss; perhaps a fellow believer…
When was the last time someone asked you, “Will YOU forgive me?”
How did you feel when YOU were asked to forgive another person?
Would justice be served? Would it be fair to YOU?
Were you able to forgive, truly forgive?
What would your forgiveness require of YOU?
What would your forgiveness cost YOU??

The last time someone asked YOU to forgive them...are they still your friend?


Mark Stinnett

October 13, 2024