Why Are You Unhappy?

It’s no surprise; people are often unhappy.

I don’t always know specifically what makes people unhappy. Yet, I think we all know, at least in general, what causes unhappiness.

Think about the last time you felt unhappy. Stop. Think. Why?

I cannot read your mind, but the thing that came to your mind was something for which you sensed a lack of fulfillment. You had an expectation that was not fulfilled, something you desired that you did not receive. Even if your unhappiness was not specifically about you, it was about your lack of fulfillment. For example, it might be that you desired for your child to be successful in something. So, when they did not succeed as you expected, you feel a sense of unhappiness. Do you see that the unhappiness was still tied to your desire, your lack of fulfillment?

Unhappiness occurs when your desires are not satisfied and you are not content. Said another way, happiness is dependent on a person’s circumstances, and it is always dependent on the present...here and now.

Have you ever looked up the word happy in the dictionary? I know that we don’t need a dictionary to tell us if we’re happy. Yet, the most common range of meaning for the word happy is favored by circumstances; lucky; or fortunate.

The word happy is related to the word happen, both having the same root, hap, which means chance or luck. (Look it up if you wish.)

Do you know why it is so difficult to sustain a life of happiness? No one is lucky all the time. No one enjoys good fortune all the time. No one is favored by circumstances all the time.

Solomon said it this way:

I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. 

—Ecclesiastes 9:11 (NIV)

To be clear, Solomon did not intend for us to curl up in a ball and sob over our unfortunate plight of unluckiness. This is not the moment at which we cry to heaven, “Woe is me! I’m a victim. It’s not my fault. Where is happiness?”

The point is this: 

We live in a broken world where there are many disappointments. Happiness is a matter of time and chance and simply cannot be sustained. Unhappiness is a condition experienced when we focus on ourselves, or at least, focus on what we want.

The Apostle Paul reviewed his life and his credentials as a prominent Jew. Then he said:

I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.

-Philippians 3:8 (NASB95)

Paul then described suffering for Christ so that he could “attain to the resurrection from the dead.” Now, what if you knew that you would be raised from the dead to live eternally?

Paul shows the wisdom in reflecting on future resurrection, not current circumstances. His focus was not happiness. So, it is no surprise that he then wrote, “Rejoice in the Lord!”

Happiness is rooted in current circumstances and chance. Joy is rooted in divine promise.

Choose joy. Look with anticipation to your resurrection from the dead. Pursue Christ!


Mark Stinnett

May 16, 2021