The Regret Club

Do you belong to the Regret Club?

I don’t really know of a Regret Club. (I made it up.) Yet, if there was one, most of us would qualify for membership, regardless of age.

Regret is a consuming creature. It keeps our minds locked in the past. We may regret missed opportunities. That is especially true at mid-life and beyond. We reflect back on life and wonder how the years passed so quickly. Younger people might not have that many years behind them, but they still have regrets. We think about goals never met, important events missed, relationships never developed, opportunities missed because of fear.

In general, regret exists because lost opportunities cannot be reclaimed. You might say, “That ship has sailed.” The bite of regret is sharp because it is a loss of hope.

We may also feel regret over things we wish we had not done. We ought to feel regret over sin. Yet, not all regret is connected to sin. Because of a foolish decision, we might have done something that tarnished our reputation, destroyed a friendship, resulted in an injury with long-term effects, or caused a significant financial debt.

A friend of regret is if-only thinking:

• If only I had not said that.
• If only I had not done that.
• If only things were different.

The destructive force of regret is not just that it keeps our minds focused on the past; it keeps our minds focused on self.

When writing to the Christians at Philippi, the Apostle Paul looked at his past accomplishments and his personal credentials. He said that it was all rubbish (trash) when he considered the “surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” He went on to say that he was in pursuit of “the power of His resurrection.” Then he wrote...

13Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained. 

—Philippians 3:13–16 (NASB95)

After reading what Paul wrote, do you think he was eaten up with regret? Do you think he qualified for membership in the Regret Club?

I think we all have regrets. However, the key is in not living in the past. There is no such thing as ‘undo.’ Paul encouraged Christians to keep their focus on “the prize of the upward call of God.” He said that he let the past stay in the past by “forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.”

THAT is how you deal with regret.

• Did Paul have regrets? Absolutely!
• Do I have regrets? Yes! And it’s a burden.
• Do you have regrets? Of course!

However, living in the past is just another way of living in selfishness. Do you want to be rid of regret? The first step is in obtaining God’s forgiveness. Once your sin debt is cleared, then you must keep your focus forward on the promises of God. For all the things which you may regret, the one regret you cannot afford is to miss out on the resurrection from the dead.

Set your focus. Embrace hope.

Mark Stinnett

May 23, 2021