Gentleness or Aggression?

I’ll bet you know someone who could be described as assertive or aggressive or overpowering or intimidating or maybe even violent. Not all of those descriptive words are to be taken negatively. For example, there are times when we need to assert ourselves. A person might also make a case for occasional aggressiveness.

It is a general human perception that strength will motivate people. Bosses, coaches, teachers, military leaders and even parents often assert themselves in their position of authority to get things done. After all, it is often thought that those under their authority need a firm hand.

While that may be true, how often do we resort to aggression, intimidation, etc. to get things done? I am referring more to times when things are not going our way. We want to make adjustments so that our circumstances are more favorable, more to our liking.

Some people are experts at making demands by asking questions. Their questions are crafted in such a way that forces others to be accountable to them. This kind of behavior is nothing more than mental manipulation. In the end, they are just trying to get their way.

Some people are experts at leveraging situations to their own advantage. In a negative sense, leveraging is a way of pressuring others into doing things the way you want. In many cases, leveraging is the same as exploitation, another kind of manipulation.

Another way that some people find success is through the use of force. They want what they want and they will do whatever it takes to get it. They don’t use mental strategies of subtle manipulation; they don’t take the time to leverage things to their advantage. They use simple intimidation or brute force. They want! And now is a good time to get what they want!

We live in a society that teaches assertive behavior. Aggression, manipulation and exploitation are often justified and rewarded when the outcome is success. Yet, when we give in to that way of thinking, we may have second thoughts regarding the poor way we have treated others.

Parents feel the struggle when coaching their children in sports. On the field of play they want their kids to be aggressive: get the ball, score, tear the opponent limb from limb! Yet, at a friend’s birthday party they expect their kids to be cordial, patient and kind.

We all feel the struggle when trying to balance the way we ought to treat people with a way of aggression in order to succeed and get what we want out of life. We don’t want the reputation of running over the little guy, but we don’t want others to see us as weak or unsuccessful.

Maybe we are going about things the wrong way. Maybe we need to adjust our goals, our desires, our attitudes.

The words of Jesus bring clarity:

Blessed are the gentle, 

for they shall inherit the earth. 

—Matthew 5:5

The voices of our society tell us that meekness is weakness. However, the prophets foretold the Messiah who would be gentle. (Matthew 12:17-21) Jesus said that He was “gentle and humble in heart.” (Matthew 11:29) Paul appealed to the “meekness and gentleness” of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:1) Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, that is, a natural outgrowth of the Spirit of God dwelling in a Christian. (Galatians 5:23)

   Jesus, 

         deity in the flesh...

                                 meek.

What will you gain through aggression??
The meek will inherit the earth.
Are you making the better choice?

Mark Stinnett

January 9, 2022