People have different ways of dealing with their ugly past. Some believe that they must go and apologize to all those who were hurt by their past poor choices. Others think they must do something to ‘make it up to’ the ones they’ve hurt. Still others imagine that a life devoted to good works will somehow offset the dark deeds of their past.
These are good responses, but they are ultimately only reactions that may temporarily pacify one’s guilt. Yes, that is the focus...guilt!
The problem with guilt is that there is no ‘undo.’ A person simply cannot reverse life and undo the past. An apology is a kind and relevant gesture, yet it does not take away the wrong done. Serving someone you've hurt is a kind gesture, but it does not erase the hurt. A life of service is admirable, but the past remains.
I think we intuitively understand this, and it frustrates us.
Think about the apostle Paul...before he was an apostle, when he was known as Saul. He had great zeal for God, but it was misplaced; he was a persecutor of Christians. God capitalized on Saul’s zeal thorough a blinding confrontation. Saul was on a trip to the city of Damascus. He held papers from the Jewish leaders authorizing him to search out anyone “belonging to the Way” so he could imprison them.
A light from heaven flashed around Saul (blinding him), and a voice said, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” Saul inquired, “Who are You, Lord?” The voice came back, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting.”
In the course of three days Saul was allowed to think things over and he made a complete turnaround giving his allegiance to Jesus Christ. He regained his sight and from then on, he “proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, ‘He is the Son of God.’” (Read his conversion story in Acts 9.)
How did Saul/Paul deal with his past...the persecutions…his guilt!? Here are three things he did not do that would be endorsed by many today:
- He might have made some personal apologies, but he did not go on a crusade to apologize to everyone he had hurt.
- He did not try to ‘make it up to’ the church for all his persecutions.
- He did not devote himself to making ___X___ number of conversions.
Paul did not try to pacify his guilt. He turned to Jesus and received forgiveness...from God. Then, he simply devoted himself to God.
King David had it right in his beautiful confession and plea to God after having committed adultery and murder: “Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight.”
David had taken advantage of Bathsheba by committing adultery with her. He had her husband killed to cover up their sin. He had shamed Israel. Paul had physically harmed Christians, had terrified the church of God, and undoubtedly persuaded some to avoid Christianity. And yet, both David and Paul first sinned against God. Bathsheba and her husband were not the standard of holiness. Christians are not the standard of righteousness. God is holy; He is righteous. All sin is first against God.
Paul summed up his quest after having become a Christian: “I want to know Christ.” His was not a quest to undo or repair the past, but to move forward. He knew, just as you and I know, there is no ‘undo.’
For that reason, our only response is to fall at the feet of Jesus and plead for mercy. Once we have received God’s forgiveness thorough the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, we then devote our lives to Christ: “I want to know Christ!”
Mark Stinnett
October 26, 2025
